Cry
by DearAbby
Summary: Abby's thoughts after meeting Kem and Carter in Touch and Go. Lame summary, but give it a chance.


**Cry**  
  
**Disclaimer:** I don't own any character of ER (except possibly Luka..) and I  
don't own the lyrics of the song used.  
**Summary:** Short standalone. It takes place around Touch and Go, season ten.  
It's my version of how Abby would feel after meeting Carter and Kem. (Sorry  
if she seems a  
bit unstable and out of character)  
**Author's notes:** The song used is "Cry" by Faith Hill. I haven't read this  
through and I don't have a beta reader, so I'll probably edit it later, but  
for now, this is it. Feedback appreciated. ;)

_If I had just one tear rollin' down your cheek  
Maybe I could cope  
Maybe I'd get some sleep  
If I had just one moment at your expense  
Maybe all my misery would be well spent  
_  
The sound of water flowing smoothly is a soothing sound. She was taken in  
by the warmth, trying to ignore the desperate aching in her chest, that  
feeling so similar to pure heartbreak.  
How could she ever think that she could move on? Meeting them, looking into  
his eyes, it had been a slap in the face. Replaced by someone new. Replaced  
by someone new.  
She knew that she was the one to blame.  
But why did he have to replace her so soon?  
And why did he have to look so happy?  
  
_Could you cry a little  
Lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me  
_  
She didn't try to blame it all on him. They both did hurting. She was still  
painfully aware of their last month spent together. And the night that he  
returned from Africa, and she pushed him away. But couldn't he have seen  
that she really didn't want him to leave? Why couldn't he have understood  
that she had wanted him to come back? It wasn't fair to blame it on him,  
she knew that. But she had really thought he would understand. She never  
imagined he would just cut her loose. Like what they had never meant  
anything to him.  
It meant the world to her.  
  
_If your love could be caged  
Honey I would hold the key  
And conceal it underneath  
The pile of lies you've handed me  
And you'd hunt those lies  
They'd be all you'd ever find  
That'd be all you'd have to know  
For me to be fine_  
  
It had always been all about her, she couldn't deny that. But she had  
really tried to keep her problems to herself. She had tried so hard to be  
the kind of person he wanted her to be. A.A. meetings, the endless patches  
to quit smoking, she did it for him. When she cried, she tried to hide it.  
She did it for him. She made mistakes, but he made mistakes too. It wasn't  
a good enough reason to go across the world and meet someone new.  
It wasn't.  
Was it?  
  
_And you'd cry a little  
And die just a little  
And maybe I would feel just a little less pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me_  
  
She made her way into her bedroom. The room held no evidence of their time  
together. It didn't need to.  
She picked up the t-shirt she would sleep in. The distant scent of the man  
she was supposed to spend her life together with made the memories come  
back, so close that she could almost sense him in the dark.  
This was pointless, she knew it. It only made her weaker. And she didn't  
want to be weak. But somehow the darkness seemed to close in on her.  
A week ago she would have wished for him to hold her.  
Now all she wanted was for him to think about her.  
To remember her. To miss her.  
To be a little less fine.  
  
_Give it up baby  
I hear you're doin' fine  
Nothings gonna' save me  
Til I see it in your eyes  
Some kind of heartache honey  
Give it a try  
I don't want pity  
I just want what is mine_  
  
It was raining. Just like that night. The night she went over again and  
again in her mind. She held her breathe, almost expecting him to walk  
through that door. Give her a second change. Let her know that he still  
cared for her. That he still wanted to save her.  
But he didn't come.  
God, she hated him! How could he replace her, just like that? One letter.  
Wasn't she even worth a phone call?  
She wanted to choke him until he cried for her.  
She wanted to do anything to make her own pain go away.  
And she didn't want to be afraid.  
  
_Would you cry a little  
Lie just a little  
Pretend that you're feeling a little more pain  
I gave, now I'm wanting something in return  
So cry just a little for me_  
  
She didn't want to feel anymore. 


End file.
